Friday, April 11, 2014

Hangry v.2

Girlfriend - "Why are you acting like this? We're supposed to be on a date. Have you eaten? Are you like this because you haven't eaten?"

Boyfriend - "I haven't eaten! Don't be aggressive! I love you!"

Girlfriend - "FUCK YOU." (throws coffee cup out of convertible) "I'm sorry. I was having a moment."

My girlfriend and I get "hangry" easily. Hangry is a mash-up of the words "hungry" and "angry." This is what happens when we don't eat.

My girlfriend has "moments." Moments are the times during dates when my girlfriend will throw things. Usually she is very casual, willy-nilly, and will lounge sprawled out in the back of the convertible while I relax in the front passenger's seat. We often like to sit outside hip coffee shops and relax. We are very casual-cool. When my girlfriend has moments, we are no longer casual-cool. We are now aggressive. I yell, and she yells, and sometimes empty coffee cups are thrown.

Dates are events my girlfriend and I go on in order to connect in a romantic way. Dates consist of sitting outside hip coffee shops and relaxing. Sometimes, on dates, we are having so much casual-cool fun, we forget to eat. That is ok, unless forgetting to eat results in becoming hangry.

Hangry is ok, unless becoming hangry incites moments.

Moments are ok, unless having moments means coffee cups are thrown.

Throwing coffee cups is ok, unless the cup is full, and you do not apologize.

It is never ok to not apologize.

That is the moral of the story.

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